Listen to this student's voice

This passage is from one of the drafts, so I know the student isn't done working on it...developing ideas, editing, etc. But I do know that the student has NO work to do on voice. This student's voice shows how the assignment was embraced; she embraced the task, which can be heard in her voice.

My other reason for coming to college is to grow up. Now is the time for me to get out all my little childish ways and start acting my age. I tend to fall in the trap where I am ten all over again and just make dumb decision and then I want my mother to clean up my mess. But I have realized that she is not always going to be there. I am learning that there is a time for fun and a time for me to be serious about what I am doing. I don’t want to hear the words grow up Tiffani come out of any bodies’ mouth. That is a blow to the face especially when I am being mature. The college life really gives me a taste of reality and I am coming to realize life is not a dream.